Beyond the Need to Be Liked - The Art of Unconditional Giving
In this heartfelt and introspective video, the Kim.E explores the pervasive desire to be liked and how it influences our actions and sense of self-worth. She shares personal experiences of trying to help others, only to discover that not everyone is receptive or even willing to admit they need help. Reflecting on her journey, Kim.E emphasises the importance of self-awareness, authenticity, and the power that comes from understanding our true selves. She challenges the notion that others hold the solutions to our problems, advocating instead for personal empowerment and the recognition of our unique struggles and strengths.
Breaking the Chains of People-Pleasing and Embracing Self-Empowerment
Most people want to be liked and are inspired to do and say what they believe will entice admiration and acceptance for them in others. Although I would love to be loved, unconditionally of course, I find it far more important to help people. Because helping people is my love language, I've had to learn the harsh lesson, which is that not everyone is help-able.
Like an addict, people must first admit to being in the position that requires help, which basically means that they must confess, even if silently, to being a failure, to being weak, or incapable. Not many people, addicted or not, would dare admit that to themselves. Then people must also be humble, vulnerable, and open enough to receive help from others. My way of helping people in the past was by taking over tasks for them, by organising holidays and events for them, by giving them money and other stuff, by dedicating a huge chunk of my time and energy to ironing out their problems for them. Most of the time, I lost the very people I helped. They enjoyed the easy ride my service gave them, but failed to appreciate or recognise my person, whose value was rendered useless once I had nothing more to give.
There is definitely a control streak in every help-ó-maniac who believes that their help is the solution to the problems of others. I have thankfully moved on. I'm also very aware that even though there are many books, strategies, tactics, activities, surveys, and lists with information, statements, and facts that determine what is and what isn't, what to do and what not to do, or who we are and who we are not, I believe that nothing matters if it doesn't resonate with us on a deep level.
Often, all the great advice out there serves as a distraction that nurtures our procrastination, especially when the proclaimed solution doesn't work for us and has the potential to stump our personal growth. I strongly believe that every personal reality with all the struggles, the dramas and the day-to-day problems are a reflection of a person's personality, and that we all have the answers we seek within ourselves, and all the messages and information we need right in front of us. We just never learnt how to trust and recognise them.
I know that we can be empowered by the knowledge of who we truly are and what we really want. Or we can continue to hand that power over to someone else whose opinion we deem more relevant? I do not believe that anyone else can ever truly know who we are or what we are going through. We are all unique, which makes our situation unique. Even though someone can empathise with us, they will never truly know how we feel because they are not us. Most of the time, we don't even know what our real problem is.
Most of us are so disconnected from who we are and the reality of our circumstances. Most of us have grown up with the mindset that others will solve our problems, and to belong, we must all be alike. No! It saddens me to see how people are struggling and suffering because they believe they are unworthy, unlovable, and incapable, and as a consequence, they choose to live a compromised, mediocre life instead of an extra-ordinary one.
BLOG DISCLAIMER
Time is an invaluable asset. Thank you so much for sharing yours with me.
Kim.E xx
Credits:
Artwork | Creative Writing + Editing | Recording + Editing: Kim.E - IsNotSo.com
Disclaimers:
This article serves the sole purpose of providing the reader with information without the intention to discriminate against, promote or influence the opinions of others.
Kim.E is an ordinary person with a personal opinion, and has written from her perspective and level of knowledge. She considers herself to be neither a professional nor an amateur in any field. This blog is for information purposes only.
Kim.E is not responsible for the accuracy of the information she has researched. It is the sole responsibility of every reader to pursue and explore their own channels of information to either confirm or reject what they have read.
