The Divided Self - The Complexity of Modern Identity
Kim.E discusses how various forms of identity, such as ethnicity, sexuality, gender, and social status, create division and fragmentation within society. She critiques the proliferation of sexual and gender identities and questions the significance of these labels in understanding human connection. Kim.E emphasises that personal and collective healing from sexual and identity-related trauma is necessary for social cohesion. She also critiques social movements that enhance division and advocates for valuing human life and intrinsic values over external identities. She ultimately argues for unity and mutual respect beyond superficial differences.
Unpacking Identity and the Illusion of Division
Division comes with identity, ethnicity, de-humanisation, superiority, status, and all the false-labels that are created to segregate people through having us believe we are different to others. Most of us have a soul, a human heart, human blood, and we all shit from the same place. Who gives a damn about all the external differences? Well, we obviously do! In our urge to discover ourselves, we lost ourselves, and chose to identify ourselves instead.
Every part of our personal lives has been divided, labelled and fragmented, including the intimate and sexual orientations of our person. Besides heterosexual or homosexual, which are also known as mono-sexual identities, I was so surprised by the new identities like asexual, auto-sexual, bi-sexual, demi-sexual, grey-asexuality, pansexual, queer, or questioning. For fuck sakes, who cares about how, who or what you choose to or choose not to have consensual sex with?
Well, religion and politics obviously care deeply about such topics and choose to interfere in this extremely personal and intimate aspect of our lives, so yes, we obviously care, too, otherwise these sexual identities wouldn´t have become a thing, not so? Could we just keep our sexual identities and personal preferences as something we only disclose privately within the four walls of our own boudoirs? Could we keep our noses out of the sexual endeavours of others, especially and including those of our own children?
No, parenthood or priesthood do not give us the right to judge and forbid as we do. Time to step down from our pedestal and embrace the sexual individuality of others, don´t you think? Well, this is an impossibility if we don´t work on the personal, deeply-emotional issues we have around sexuality. Sexuality has been targeted, distorted, abused, misused, exploited, commercialised, degraded, judged, worshipped, and shamed for eons. We all have a lot of work to do on our personal sexual trauma.
Just when we thought it couldn’t get any worse, gender identity became a big thing. Oh shit! We were no longer the biological male or female. Other identities like transgender, gender neutral, non-binary, agender, pangender, genderqueer, two-spirit, third gender, cisgender, and gender fluid took the world stage. I am obviously a backward idiot, because I am baffled at how non-sensical the gender identities are. Who comes up with such crap? Don´t they have something better to do with their time? I mean, seriously! I really have a hard time understanding how we got so far as a humanity, and how we could allow ourselves to become so divided and fragmented.
Look at this list of social movements in the 20th century compared to the social movements in the 21st century. I am all for social change, for the protests or for the movements, where the rights of people are fought for, but no social movement began without the existence of the division, segregation, discrimination, and injustice amongst people. The division was created beforehand, and we supported that division, otherwise it wouldn´t have become something to move or protest against to begin with. What is also so fascinating, is that many movements, like Black Lives Matter or all the Colour Revolutions are initiated, infiltrated or backed by governments to create even more division by making that division obvious. My remark to Black Lives Matter was that All Lives Matter, which insulted numerous people, which is very interesting, not so?
If I call myself a middle-class, black American, Harvard graduate and Christian mother of two children, I am being discriminative, am I not? By claiming my race, I am automatically being racist. By claiming my religion, I am setting myself above and apart from other religions. By naming my university, I am claiming my academic superiority, just as I am doing with national superiority by stating my American citizenship. By revealing my class, I am placing myself above or below other social classes.
Identities don´t define us, they separate us from those around us, and more importantly, from ourselves, because we are not our identities. The problem is that there is so much trauma attached to identities because they have been successfully used as a tool to divide people. If we feel victimised by the identities we were traumatised by, we will be the ones fighting for those identities to be recognised and acknowledged. We will be proudly black, American, Christian, Jewish, homosexual, transgender, feminine, etc. and fight for our rights, even though our rights to be that were never taken. All identities were created so that laws could be made to separate and control people. If we all chose to no longer identify ourselves with such identities, the lawmakers would lose all their power. Through our victimisation and through the identities we cling to, we support the segregation and the discrimination.
Have you ever heard of the 6B4T, a radical online feminist movement started in South Korea in 2019 that opposes sexism and patriarchal structures. These women refuse to date men, have sex with men, get married, or have children. South Korea, like all countries, has had a patriarchal system that suppressed equal rights for women. Although I am all for free will and equal rights of all people, I do not believe that such movements create the societal change we need. By abstaining from the very things, like sex, relationships, parenthood and commitment that enhance our human experience, and are all things we collectively need healing in, we rub salt in the deep wound and cause even more suffering and separation from ourselves. We must each learn how to heal our wounded masculine and feminine, and be empowered by our femininity and masculinity, and not over-powering and discriminatory. Both men and women have a lot to learn from one another. Rejecting, suppressing, controlling, manipulating or threatening one or the other is not the solution, and never has been.
Who we are is not the defined by the colour of our skin, the manner of our dress, the materialistic assets we have accumulated, the status or fame we have gained, the academic titles we have achieved, or the political, sexual, racial or gender identities we desperately cling to. Who we are is how we show up around those people who look different, think differently, behave differently, live differently, or believe differently to us. Who we are is how we value and appreciate all human life. Who we are is how we embody our innate human values, and not the false values projected onto us.
Who we are is our willingness to give, to help, and to serve others, regardless of their identities, and without the desire for personal gain. Who we are is how we express ourselves in every which way, be it a comment on social media, a silent thought, a conversation, or the body language we emanate. Who we are is how we feel about ourselves, our values, our worthiness, which will reflect itself in the manner in which we treat others. Who we are is what others observe in everything we do, because it is only through others that we truly see ourselves. The only way to discover ourselves is by wanting to discover others, especially those who trigger us emotionally.
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Time is an invaluable asset. Thank you so much for sharing yours with me.
Kim.E xx
Credits:
Artwork | Creative Writing + Editing | Recording + Editing: Kim.E - IsNotSo.com
Disclaimers:
This article serves the sole purpose of providing the reader with information without the intention to discriminate against, promote or influence the opinions of others.
Kim.E is an ordinary person with a personal opinion, and has written from her perspective and level of knowledge. She considers herself to be neither a professional nor an amateur in any field. This blog is for information purposes only.
Kim.E is not responsible for the accuracy of the information she has researched. It is the sole responsibility of every reader to pursue and explore their own channels of information to either confirm or reject what they have read.
